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Thursday, June 30, 2011
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Tuesday, June 28, 2011
The good days..
The Changling has gone and given Brando and i are sweet dove back. The past three days have been heaven sent and im afraid to mention it for fear of jinxing myself! Praying her Colic is gone for good and we can live easy now!
Did i mention im attempting this post from my phone? Because i am. Lets hope for the best!
xo!
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Look!
Today has just been one of those beautiful days. Dovie has been so sweet, hardly fussed, eaten all her bottles and just been a complete angel. Yesterday on the other hand was horrible...
She fussed all day long, screaming on and off like she was in complete agony, whaling and fighting her sleep. It was awful. I couldn't even take her anywhere with fear of a mental breakdowns from both of us.
So we stated at home. And we rocked, and bounced and swayed and walked and talked and sang and did everything you could possibly think of to calm her down, and none of it would work.
Now she's always been a fussy baby. Anywhere we go, she can't stay still long enough for me to shop, she prefers if no one touches her or even really talks to her unless I am in birds-eye-view, but yesterday, I was completely at my wits end. Thank God for my wonderful mommy, who will talk to me when I'm crying and feel like I can't do it anymore, and I'm happy she's there to reassure me that one of my little sisters was that way, and that 'this too shall pass.'
And thank God for my friend who stayed with me and let me know that it was ok, and that sometimes babies just scream. And to keep me company, watching Jon and Kate plus 8, Teen Mom and 18 kids and counting. (Netflix, I love you). So, that was my day. Hair a blaze, tears fleeing from my eyes and her eyes. What a day.
But. Like I said, today. BEAUTIFUL. So, so so wonderful. I love to see her so happy and content. I'm really hoping this fussy stage pases and that she starts to grow more confident as a little bird. I am a little too hovering when it comes to my child and letting other people deal with her, but she's my entire world, and I have to do things my way. I'm ocd and controlling beyond belief, and I've been asking God to please let some of that go. I'll send all my anxiety with him, and let me be free from it.
It's irritating when I have to rush back in the house, double check the coffee to make sure it's off (touch it twice) touch all the knobs on the stove/oven, check my straightener (touching yet again) and then double check the patio and front door are locked like, a zillion times.
I'm really wanting this to end, and it used to not be this bad. But ever since I've had Lillian, I'm paranoid. People throwing cigarettes on the ground. HELLO. We're in 'extreme wildfire' conditions, are you retarded?! Throw it away in water or something! Just everything catchs my eye and then my brain begins to roll, never really seeming to stop....
Hum. So tiring..Probably why my immune system is terrible and i'm exhausted 24/7.
These steroids and Z-pack that the doctor gave me has really been working! And I really hope it continues, because I love having energy and not feeling like i'm dragging constantly.
If I could update from my phone (other than pictures) I would update a lot more. But Lillian loves taking cat-naps throughout the day. 15-30 minutes here and there. Never really a long nap, but she's been doing decent at night so i'm not complaining.
As of now, she's awake already (sigggghhh) so I got a bit of internet/me time in.
Until next time,
XOXO!
Friday, June 24, 2011
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Catching up in photos.
Because I'm lazy and my daughter is a little fussy today.
Looks like we're going to be sitting at home all day, cuddling and watching Roseanne.
I still feel sickly and I'm pretty sure my medicine I got the other day isn't working. So I might be headed back to the doctor today.
(bleeggggggh, even more germs! yuck yuck!)
So, here is our week in photos mainly. I'll post more eventually, but like I said, we're still dragging a bit this week.
We've spent quite a deal outside on our patio this week. Although I hate it because I don't get any sunlight, Dove's enjoyed the heat. (blegh)
My friend and I also made tye-die onesies for the girls. Pretty exciting.
More to come, I promise!
XO!
Looks like we're going to be sitting at home all day, cuddling and watching Roseanne.
I still feel sickly and I'm pretty sure my medicine I got the other day isn't working. So I might be headed back to the doctor today.
(bleeggggggh, even more germs! yuck yuck!)
So, here is our week in photos mainly. I'll post more eventually, but like I said, we're still dragging a bit this week.
We've spent quite a deal outside on our patio this week. Although I hate it because I don't get any sunlight, Dove's enjoyed the heat. (blegh)
My friend and I also made tye-die onesies for the girls. Pretty exciting.
More to come, I promise!
XO!
Monday, June 20, 2011
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Sick, sick and more sick.
The past week has been a rollercoaster of many things.
Some things good, but most things bad.
My poor Lillian and I both got sick last Sunday.
Stuffy noses, water eyes, and I don't know about her but my throat hurt extremely bad.
I figured we'd get over it, just a small summer cold.
How wrong was I?
Very wrong.
I finally had enough and with doves past history of being sick, I took her in right away.
She had an ear infection in her right ear, which I think she's had for a while but her doctor didn't look deep enough.
So, we got her on some medicines and I've been doing steam showers, sucking her nose, breathing treatments and everything.
I just really hope she can get past this and not get sick for a while.
As for me, I ended up losing my voice and finally went to the doctor today.
I've got a double ear infection (both ears) and tonsillitis. AWESOME.
No wonder I've sounded like a man for the past week, and I've felt like death!
So, since we're both getting pumped with medicine, I'm hoping we'll both get better and start acting like ourselves again!
As for Dovie, today I tried feeding her cereal for the first time.
And, this is how it went:
She's so precious. Although I think we might have to wait a little longer, she didn't seem too delighted with it.
I love spending my days with her, she's become more and more animated!
I love it! I can fake laugh at her and she'll mimic me and do the same. It's incredible and completely adorable.
I love love love my dove!
Does anyone have any suggestions on how to battle an ear infection?
Home remidies for comfort and soothing?
If so please let me know! It'd be greatly appreciated!
Xo!
Some things good, but most things bad.
My poor Lillian and I both got sick last Sunday.
Stuffy noses, water eyes, and I don't know about her but my throat hurt extremely bad.
I figured we'd get over it, just a small summer cold.
How wrong was I?
Very wrong.
I finally had enough and with doves past history of being sick, I took her in right away.
She had an ear infection in her right ear, which I think she's had for a while but her doctor didn't look deep enough.
So, we got her on some medicines and I've been doing steam showers, sucking her nose, breathing treatments and everything.
I just really hope she can get past this and not get sick for a while.
As for me, I ended up losing my voice and finally went to the doctor today.
I've got a double ear infection (both ears) and tonsillitis. AWESOME.
No wonder I've sounded like a man for the past week, and I've felt like death!
So, since we're both getting pumped with medicine, I'm hoping we'll both get better and start acting like ourselves again!
As for Dovie, today I tried feeding her cereal for the first time.
And, this is how it went:
She's so precious. Although I think we might have to wait a little longer, she didn't seem too delighted with it.
I love spending my days with her, she's become more and more animated!
I love it! I can fake laugh at her and she'll mimic me and do the same. It's incredible and completely adorable.
I love love love my dove!
Does anyone have any suggestions on how to battle an ear infection?
Home remidies for comfort and soothing?
If so please let me know! It'd be greatly appreciated!
Xo!
Friday, June 17, 2011
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Lillian's birth story.
Only a bazillion years late, but here is the much promised birth story of my beautiful birdy.
When I was 38 weeks along, I went to the doctor on a Monday to check the growth of my bird and my dilation. I was only a 2 and when they looked at her via ultrasound, they discovered she was about 9lbs. (OMG) My doctor suggested that she probably wouldn't fit through my canal, so we went ahead and scheduled a c-section for that Wednesday, March 9th.
I wish now I would've tried to have her naturally, but my doctor (which I loved) didn't want me to labor for hours and hours on end and turn out having a c-section anyway, so we figured this was the best route.
The whole night before the special day, I was a mess. I re-checked, re-packed my bags and her diaper bag. I was so anxious. I couldn't believe that in the morning I'd have a baby and I'd be a mommy. I'd be responsible for a little life. It was insane and I was still trying to figure out how to wrap my head around having a human come out of my body with my body being ripped in half during a surgery and my guts being on display.
I somehow managed to fall asleep and was dying because I couldn't take my medicine for my heartburn and couldn't eat or drink past midnight. (I drank about 40398509438 gallons of water throughout the night and day while I was pregnant.)
So in the morning, I was starving, dehydrated and my throat was burning. Very unpleasant. And did I mention I was still freaking out? Because I was. Majorly.
See? Freaking out totally.
So we got to the hospital around 830 a.m., and filled out paper work and I got dressed in my snazzy robe with no butt. They came in to do my IV with took forever, and they couldn't get it in due to my veins collapsing because I was so dehydrated. It was painful and after 3 different ladies and a bunch of blood and vein "moving" they got one in.
So if I wasn't freaking out enough about things going wrong, the IV situation kind of triggered my anxiety even more.
At 11:00 a.m, they wheeled me to the room to get my spinal block going. I said farewell to my mommy and Brandon as I nervously and very shakily got up on the bed and bent over. I felt the first sting and it felt like water running down my back. And then a horrible pain down my right side. I let them know and he gave me another shot of the numbing medicine. Once again the water ran down my back and I felt my right side begin to hurt, and then my leg started to twitch and I could feel it going down my spine. So after 2 more times and a bunch more numbing shots, we discovered my spinal block wouldn't take, so they had to knock me out.
I was soooooo freaked out, I wasn't going to see my baby be born, I wanted Brandon in there pronto but they couldn't, so the last thing I remember was them shoving up acathiter (horrible, painful and gross I know) and then they told me to breathe. That was it. I was out. And my beautiful, chubby daughter was born at exactly 11:30 a.m on the dot. Of course I didn't know this or see her because I was out cold. :(
(MY GUTS ON DISPLAY, FOR REALS!)
Apparently they made Brandon look at the baby and the baby only because I really started bleeding a lot and it took them a while to get it under control and to stop. I didn't have to get a blood transfusion but I'll tell you that I am STILL anemic to this day. I take iron pills and everything still too. I'm a weakling now.
After recovery, I was completely out of it still, but awake and alone. That was probably the worst part of it all. The lady kept mashing on my stomach (ow) and it was kind of dark. Finally they wheeled me out of the room and I got to stop by the nursery and they put my beautiful dove against my face. I cried and cried and was as happy as could be..
They brought me into my room (tiniest room EVER) and I just kept pressing my morphine drip every 10 minutes. (that was amazing)
After not making sense and talking jibberish, they brought me my beautiful baby and I was amazed at how bald my child was. BALD. She was sooooo beautiful, but I imagined a full head of hair with my heriage and all the heartburn I had. But apparently, that wasn't the case. Her eyes were bright and open and she just stared at me forever. I nursed her and she slept on my chest and never left my side unless they forced her to go to the nursery for weighing and such.
Giving birth was the scariest, most rewarding thing I could have ever done.
As for if I'll do it again, I'm sure I will, just not anytime soon.
But, she was all completely worth it.
<3 Xoxo,
When I was 38 weeks along, I went to the doctor on a Monday to check the growth of my bird and my dilation. I was only a 2 and when they looked at her via ultrasound, they discovered she was about 9lbs. (OMG) My doctor suggested that she probably wouldn't fit through my canal, so we went ahead and scheduled a c-section for that Wednesday, March 9th.
I wish now I would've tried to have her naturally, but my doctor (which I loved) didn't want me to labor for hours and hours on end and turn out having a c-section anyway, so we figured this was the best route.
The whole night before the special day, I was a mess. I re-checked, re-packed my bags and her diaper bag. I was so anxious. I couldn't believe that in the morning I'd have a baby and I'd be a mommy. I'd be responsible for a little life. It was insane and I was still trying to figure out how to wrap my head around having a human come out of my body with my body being ripped in half during a surgery and my guts being on display.
I somehow managed to fall asleep and was dying because I couldn't take my medicine for my heartburn and couldn't eat or drink past midnight. (I drank about 40398509438 gallons of water throughout the night and day while I was pregnant.)
So in the morning, I was starving, dehydrated and my throat was burning. Very unpleasant. And did I mention I was still freaking out? Because I was. Majorly.
See? Freaking out totally.
So we got to the hospital around 830 a.m., and filled out paper work and I got dressed in my snazzy robe with no butt. They came in to do my IV with took forever, and they couldn't get it in due to my veins collapsing because I was so dehydrated. It was painful and after 3 different ladies and a bunch of blood and vein "moving" they got one in.
So if I wasn't freaking out enough about things going wrong, the IV situation kind of triggered my anxiety even more.
At 11:00 a.m, they wheeled me to the room to get my spinal block going. I said farewell to my mommy and Brandon as I nervously and very shakily got up on the bed and bent over. I felt the first sting and it felt like water running down my back. And then a horrible pain down my right side. I let them know and he gave me another shot of the numbing medicine. Once again the water ran down my back and I felt my right side begin to hurt, and then my leg started to twitch and I could feel it going down my spine. So after 2 more times and a bunch more numbing shots, we discovered my spinal block wouldn't take, so they had to knock me out.
I was soooooo freaked out, I wasn't going to see my baby be born, I wanted Brandon in there pronto but they couldn't, so the last thing I remember was them shoving up acathiter (horrible, painful and gross I know) and then they told me to breathe. That was it. I was out. And my beautiful, chubby daughter was born at exactly 11:30 a.m on the dot. Of course I didn't know this or see her because I was out cold. :(
(MY GUTS ON DISPLAY, FOR REALS!)
Apparently they made Brandon look at the baby and the baby only because I really started bleeding a lot and it took them a while to get it under control and to stop. I didn't have to get a blood transfusion but I'll tell you that I am STILL anemic to this day. I take iron pills and everything still too. I'm a weakling now.
After recovery, I was completely out of it still, but awake and alone. That was probably the worst part of it all. The lady kept mashing on my stomach (ow) and it was kind of dark. Finally they wheeled me out of the room and I got to stop by the nursery and they put my beautiful dove against my face. I cried and cried and was as happy as could be..
They brought me into my room (tiniest room EVER) and I just kept pressing my morphine drip every 10 minutes. (that was amazing)
After not making sense and talking jibberish, they brought me my beautiful baby and I was amazed at how bald my child was. BALD. She was sooooo beautiful, but I imagined a full head of hair with my heriage and all the heartburn I had. But apparently, that wasn't the case. Her eyes were bright and open and she just stared at me forever. I nursed her and she slept on my chest and never left my side unless they forced her to go to the nursery for weighing and such.
Giving birth was the scariest, most rewarding thing I could have ever done.
As for if I'll do it again, I'm sure I will, just not anytime soon.
But, she was all completely worth it.
<3 Xoxo,
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Sleeping and why I love it.
Sleeping is such a beautiful thing. I've always been a sleeper. If I can squeeze in a nap at anytime, I'll take it.
Lillian was doing well at sleeping through the night. Bath and then bottle at 10:30 pm, and then she wouldn't wake up until 6 or 7. (amazing) I was refreshed and she was refreshed, making us both in better moods.
Well, as my luck would have it, the past week or so she'd been waking every 2 hours again like she was a newborn, which she so totally isn't. She was clearly going through a growth spurt, and I'm hoping that it's over with because she slept normal again last night. She'd also been really fussy the past couple of days and I thought she was maybe sick, but the doctor said there was nothing wrong with her. (except her attitude) So, I've just got a fussy baby. I don't blame her though, if you've met me, I've got a temper and an attitude major. So it would bound to happen.
If I'm not spending my ENTIRE day entertaining my 3 month old. Yes, I literally have to keep her entertained 24/7 or she screams bloody murder, I'm cleaning bottles, cleaning house, doing mounds of laundry or taking the dog out to pee. I feel like it's been go go go the past couple of days with no naps and no break.
I'm super exhausted.
But. Alas, today Lillian woke up at 7, had her bottle, played for a bit and went back to bed and has taken a good hour and a half to 2 hour nap. (AMAZING) so I actually got to play a little Mortal Kombat with my hubs, eat breakfast and write here in my blog. Yippee!
I'm praying i'll get to squeeze a nap in today...but things are looking slim.
Anyway, here is my adorable, high maintenance child. (Newborn PIcture)
Xo.
Mommy's fussy little birdy.
Lillian was doing well at sleeping through the night. Bath and then bottle at 10:30 pm, and then she wouldn't wake up until 6 or 7. (amazing) I was refreshed and she was refreshed, making us both in better moods.
Well, as my luck would have it, the past week or so she'd been waking every 2 hours again like she was a newborn, which she so totally isn't. She was clearly going through a growth spurt, and I'm hoping that it's over with because she slept normal again last night. She'd also been really fussy the past couple of days and I thought she was maybe sick, but the doctor said there was nothing wrong with her. (except her attitude) So, I've just got a fussy baby. I don't blame her though, if you've met me, I've got a temper and an attitude major. So it would bound to happen.
If I'm not spending my ENTIRE day entertaining my 3 month old. Yes, I literally have to keep her entertained 24/7 or she screams bloody murder, I'm cleaning bottles, cleaning house, doing mounds of laundry or taking the dog out to pee. I feel like it's been go go go the past couple of days with no naps and no break.
I'm super exhausted.
But. Alas, today Lillian woke up at 7, had her bottle, played for a bit and went back to bed and has taken a good hour and a half to 2 hour nap. (AMAZING) so I actually got to play a little Mortal Kombat with my hubs, eat breakfast and write here in my blog. Yippee!
I'm praying i'll get to squeeze a nap in today...but things are looking slim.
Anyway, here is my adorable, high maintenance child. (Newborn PIcture)
Xo.
Mommy's fussy little birdy.
Monday, June 6, 2011
Darling
you are my sunshine.
I couldn't picture my life without you now. Before it was just Brandon and I, the cats and old Harley. Now it's all of us plus you. You're so special to me, and even though I may be exhausted, I wouldn't take back a single second I spend with you.
In 3 days you'll be 3 months. It's bittersweet. You're growing into such a smart little dove, and I can't help but be excited about thefuture. You love your little Baby Einstien Mat, your bouncer and are improving on your little jumper. I can't believe how much you hold her head up and have found your hands and toes to play with.
You also might be coming up with an ear infection or teething, so I don't know which. I've been keeping an eye on your temp and it hasn't risen at all, but could you already be getting your little teefs in at 3 months? I wish I knew because it'd help me ease your pain.
I'll probably post more, but here are to the memories we've made since you were a tiny (you weren't actually ever tiny) baby and upuntil now. You're such a big girl dovie, and mommy will always love you.
Xoxo.
I couldn't picture my life without you now. Before it was just Brandon and I, the cats and old Harley. Now it's all of us plus you. You're so special to me, and even though I may be exhausted, I wouldn't take back a single second I spend with you.
In 3 days you'll be 3 months. It's bittersweet. You're growing into such a smart little dove, and I can't help but be excited about thefuture. You love your little Baby Einstien Mat, your bouncer and are improving on your little jumper. I can't believe how much you hold her head up and have found your hands and toes to play with.
You also might be coming up with an ear infection or teething, so I don't know which. I've been keeping an eye on your temp and it hasn't risen at all, but could you already be getting your little teefs in at 3 months? I wish I knew because it'd help me ease your pain.
I'll probably post more, but here are to the memories we've made since you were a tiny (you weren't actually ever tiny) baby and upuntil now. You're such a big girl dovie, and mommy will always love you.
Xoxo.
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