When I was 38 weeks along, I went to the doctor on a Monday to check the growth of my bird and my dilation. I was only a 2 and when they looked at her via ultrasound, they discovered she was about 9lbs. (OMG) My doctor suggested that she probably wouldn't fit through my canal, so we went ahead and scheduled a c-section for that Wednesday, March 9th.
I wish now I would've tried to have her naturally, but my doctor (which I loved) didn't want me to labor for hours and hours on end and turn out having a c-section anyway, so we figured this was the best route.
The whole night before the special day, I was a mess. I re-checked, re-packed my bags and her diaper bag. I was so anxious. I couldn't believe that in the morning I'd have a baby and I'd be a mommy. I'd be responsible for a little life. It was insane and I was still trying to figure out how to wrap my head around having a human come out of my body with my body being ripped in half during a surgery and my guts being on display.
I somehow managed to fall asleep and was dying because I couldn't take my medicine for my heartburn and couldn't eat or drink past midnight. (I drank about 40398509438 gallons of water throughout the night and day while I was pregnant.)
So in the morning, I was starving, dehydrated and my throat was burning. Very unpleasant. And did I mention I was still freaking out? Because I was. Majorly.
See? Freaking out totally.
So we got to the hospital around 830 a.m., and filled out paper work and I got dressed in my snazzy robe with no butt. They came in to do my IV with took forever, and they couldn't get it in due to my veins collapsing because I was so dehydrated. It was painful and after 3 different ladies and a bunch of blood and vein "moving" they got one in.
So if I wasn't freaking out enough about things going wrong, the IV situation kind of triggered my anxiety even more.
At 11:00 a.m, they wheeled me to the room to get my spinal block going. I said farewell to my mommy and Brandon as I nervously and very shakily got up on the bed and bent over. I felt the first sting and it felt like water running down my back. And then a horrible pain down my right side. I let them know and he gave me another shot of the numbing medicine. Once again the water ran down my back and I felt my right side begin to hurt, and then my leg started to twitch and I could feel it going down my spine. So after 2 more times and a bunch more numbing shots, we discovered my spinal block wouldn't take, so they had to knock me out.
I was soooooo freaked out, I wasn't going to see my baby be born, I wanted Brandon in there pronto but they couldn't, so the last thing I remember was them shoving up acathiter (horrible, painful and gross I know) and then they told me to breathe. That was it. I was out. And my beautiful, chubby daughter was born at exactly 11:30 a.m on the dot. Of course I didn't know this or see her because I was out cold. :(
(MY GUTS ON DISPLAY, FOR REALS!)
Apparently they made Brandon look at the baby and the baby only because I really started bleeding a lot and it took them a while to get it under control and to stop. I didn't have to get a blood transfusion but I'll tell you that I am STILL anemic to this day. I take iron pills and everything still too. I'm a weakling now.
After recovery, I was completely out of it still, but awake and alone. That was probably the worst part of it all. The lady kept mashing on my stomach (ow) and it was kind of dark. Finally they wheeled me out of the room and I got to stop by the nursery and they put my beautiful dove against my face. I cried and cried and was as happy as could be..
They brought me into my room (tiniest room EVER) and I just kept pressing my morphine drip every 10 minutes. (that was amazing)
After not making sense and talking jibberish, they brought me my beautiful baby and I was amazed at how bald my child was. BALD. She was sooooo beautiful, but I imagined a full head of hair with my heriage and all the heartburn I had. But apparently, that wasn't the case. Her eyes were bright and open and she just stared at me forever. I nursed her and she slept on my chest and never left my side unless they forced her to go to the nursery for weighing and such.
Giving birth was the scariest, most rewarding thing I could have ever done.
As for if I'll do it again, I'm sure I will, just not anytime soon.
But, she was all completely worth it.
<3 Xoxo,
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