Bedrest Birthday..

Today I turn 22 years old, and baby girl turns 19 weeks. How ironic!

Brandon got to come into town and visit me for the weekend (a day and a half, not really a weekend) and he got to see her for the first time. As soon as the lady touched my tummy, a beautiful picture of our baby girl sucking her little thumb popped up. It was probably the most beautiful and cutest thing we'd ever seen. And I was so happy that she did this when her daddy was here. She's already so smart.
Isn't she beautiful?

(she was pulling her thumb out right when we snapped the picture, :/, but you get the idea of how brilliant and smart our baby is.)

As for the rest of the weekend, I had fever Thursday night and Friday when Brando got into town, but THANK GOD that went away. Being pregnant and sick literally feels like death. I don't ever want to feel that way again, I promise you that. So me being sick, we just stayed in and watched movies that night, and I got to cuddle my husband. That time is the best time, and I miss it so much. People never realize how just sitting on the couch with someone means so much.
Saturday we went and looked for houses (some luck, but we'll see) and got to see the babe, and then that night we went over to his brothers house for pizza and board games. It was so nice to be able to get out of the house and interact with other people. (even though I freak out if there are too many people around)
And I know what you're thinking. I thought she was on bedrest, how can she be doing all of this? ...Well, every once in a while I go places and I sit. I sit in the car. I just sit or lay wherever I'm at, making me look like a beached whale. So no worries people, I'm still sitting on that egg..and the doctor said it was fine.

Sunday we went to Target and spent the rest of our wedding money (sad times) and as we were walking/wheeling around, I ALMOST mangaged to knock down a display and have people stare at me. Stupid scooters. The stores are not very easy to get around, I wish I could sue. So after I cried and we got out of there, we did my birthday lunch at On the Border. It was a horrible time. I ate about 5lbs. of hot sauce though, which was yummy. But I had to sit in a horrible hard wooden chair, our waitress sucked, and so did our food. Not to mention, I had Brandon leaving in an hour on my mind. Not fun.
So he left. And I felt like I wanted to die. Nothing hurts worse than seeing your husband for what seems like a split second, and then watching him drive off. It's hard. But, only two more months until he's back here with me. Holding me. Making my breakfast and watching Spongebob together. Until then, we've gotta be strong and do what has to be done. (btw, growing up sucks)

Oh! I saved the best for last! While Brandon was here he met up with the owner of the restraunt he'll be doing his externship at. All went well, he's going to be getting paid for it, which most chef's don't. AND, he might possibly get a head chef position afterwards and in the near future. I'm so proud and excited for him. That's a very big accomplishment, especially for a chef just coming out of school to be told that. So, while there are some downsides to my birthday (and life in general), there are also beautiful things.

So happy birthday to me. And happy 19th week to chicken.
We're going to go eat our leftovers now.

Only 156 days to go!...

Oh my goodness. That's a long time. But, I've been pregnant for 124 days...hopefully the time clock will be good to me.
I've never been a patient person, so God is really testing me out by just being pregnant and waiting 9 months, and for also placing me on bedrest like, super early.
Go figure.

I talked to my high risk doctors nurse yesterday, and she said that hopefully by my next visit(Nov.4, so very very far away), my placenta should be moved some, and hopefully the lakes will have decreased in size, resulting in me possibly having a normal third trimester. I've been praying about it a lot, because in all honesty, I want that baby safe. And I won't lie- I'd love to just be able to walk around a grocery store like a normal human being without the glares of scooting in my scooter and getting those, "she's just a lazy pregnant lady" looks.
People need to quit being so judgemental by the way, I only get to get out every once in a while, so it's a special occasion for me, but it's ruined by the awkward looks and smirks. I'm just trying to stay sane while keeping my bun safe in the oven.

I've also discovered that I need to quit letting my jealousy get in the way of my life. I see all of these pregnant women/girls that don't even want babies, or that just constantly complain about not being able to drink or go out on the weekends, and here I am, a married woman stuck living with my parents, miles away from my husband and babies, with the constant worry of my baby, when all I've ever wanted was a baby and a family...BUT. I have to snap myself out of it, because God is good, and he saved my baby girl 2 months ago, when I could've lost her. And I'm so thankful because I don't know how I would've gone not ever hearing that sweet heartbeat, or feeling her flutter around when I sneeze. Life is bittersweet, and you've gotta roll with the punches...even if they are hitting you while your down.

I also want to mention that I am so proud of my husband. He's almost done with school! (yay!) and he's already got a job/externship lined up for when he comes back in December. This has all been really hard on him too, because he can't ever go make it to the doctor visits because of school, and on top of missing out on that, he's alone in Austin, with no friends or family. I'm just so proud of him being so strong for our little family, and being such a loving and caring husband and already an amazing father. But, like I said, as soon as I start feeling sorry for our little family, I have to pull myself out of the selfishness and be thankful for what we do have...which is so much.
/
Blegh. Talk about being on repeat..you know you've been on bedrest a while when TLC starts playing repeats of "Baby Story", and "Bringing Home Baby." Oh, the boredom. Oh, and whoever decided they'd play a re-run of Vampire Diaries last night, let me tell you that "chicken" and I were very crushed! All we have to look forward to are our shows, and when they don't play, we panic! So get it together next week or I'll glare so hard at that Tv the producers will feel it.

My birthday is coming soon, like, almost a week away. Brandon will hopefully get to visit the weekend before since it falls on a Monday (lame), so i'm really looking forward to the next coming week to fly by. We'll probably do our Halloween that weekend too since I probably won't see him again until Thanksgiving. Besides Christmas, this is my favorite time of the year. I love the way the air smells, and the way the trees look. Seeing it outside the window just isn't the same. I missed the fair (even though I hated it last year), and I will miss many other cute, fun fall activities. But. Next year, I'll have a fat, healthy 7 month old baby girl to dress up and spoil, so it's all worth it.
Well, "chicken" and I are off to the couch..
It was a lovely thirty minutes of sitting at the table, until next time..,
Xo.

Dear love,

Well. Now I know why I was so emotional on the last post.
Pregnancy has a funny way of making a girl cry.
//
It's been 7 weeks since I've been on bedrest, and baby girl and I are going on 17 weeks of her growing in my tummy. It's also been 7 weeks away from my husband (we got married, Sept. 4th, 2010!) and my sweet baby boys. Now, for one out of many of my countdowns, 9 weeks until my Brandon and boys are home here, and he's done with school. December 17 will be his last day of culinary school, and that night they'll all be here with me, and I'll be the happiest girl in the world. I just can't wait to sleep next to me husband and wake up to my annoying cats and retarded dog.
It feels like the days are getting longer, and harder. My body aches from not being able to do anything, making it hard to just not do anything. Go figure.
As soon as I start crying and losing my mind, I feel her move. I think she's telling me to quit and suck it up, because after all, she's in there, very much alive, and very healthy. Each day is another milestone for her and me. Day by day by day..after all, I remember seeing her for the first time on an ultrasound, just a tiny little grape, and Brandon and I tearing up when we saw her bean-like body curl up for a split second. Now she's kicking and swimming in my tummy so much. The human body and creation is unreal. My weekly countdown told me she's about the size of my hand, or a big baked potato. Such a big and growing girl.
Now, Brandon and I have a name for her, and let me tell you it is so beautiful. But I'm being selfish and don't want to reveal it for a while, so for now I'll refer to her as baby "chicken".
Chicken and I's plans for today are watching tv, facebooking, attempting to get into a new book, coloring, and probably taking a nap here and there. Ah, so exciting. Throughout this whole process, I've come to realize that friends are just really shitty, and that I have pretty much none. The ones I did have are dead-beats, and I sure as hell don't want them around my child. So I thank God everyday that I have an amazing husband and family that will always be there to take care of me.
As for another countdown, March 20th seems so far away! Just 5 more months until I get to hold "chicken" and see what she looks like. Will she have my black hair, or Brandon's red? My big eyes or his tiny eyes? My big arab nose, or his normal good looking nose?...So many questions. And literally, so much time to think about them.
Her little ultrasound pictures are adorable, although she looks a bit creepy (give her a break, she's only skin and bone at the moment) I think she's the most beautiful little thing I've ever seen and I already love her so much.

Now as for this long post, I will probably not do another one this long, and I don't know if this will turn into a bedrest/pregnancy blog or just me writing my feelings down for everyone to read kind of blog.
But, mine and "chicken's" lunch is ready,
Xo.